When I'm In Control...
There will be some laws that everyone must obey when I am in charge of the world:
- Everyone will call me and/or refer to me as, Major - General - Commander - Emporer - Mr. Todd!
- All dogs will be required to wear pants in the winter and shorts in the summer.
- It will be illegal for men to wear white socks (or any socks) with sandals.
- All women will be required to flirt with me, even those that don't find me attractive! They will not be required to follow through, but it will be nice to hear the compliments.
- Men with chest hair will be forbidden to shave it, but they may trim it if needed! "Man Fur Is Fun!"
- Those caught committing a small crime will have their pants pulled down in public and spanked in front of the entire community until they promise not to do it again!
- Child abusers and molesters will have done to them what they did to those innocent children, but much worse!
- Every Friday will be steak and potatoes for dinner with a small side salad, no dessert! There will be no exceptions to this rule! "Fish Friday" will now be on a Tuesday!
- All crazy people will not be allowed to help me run the governments of the world, which means we will need to replace ALL the current leaders!!
- Sushi will be the official food of the world. Everyone will be required to learn how to make it. But not everyone will be required to eat the raw stuff, I am not a monster!
- Cats will forever be known as man's best friend, Cats Rule, Dogs Drool!
- There will be equality in the world! And that is all I have to say about that!
- Everyone will have to pretend that when I make things like this site, that it is actually funny, so start laughing... NOW OR ELSE!
- No one else but the: Major - General - Commander - Emporer - Mr. Todd will have the final say in any and all matters and can not be over-written or vetoed by anyone!
- Once you hit the age of 35, you will be able to start lying about your age, but within reason.
- You will no longer be able to buy mixed nuts... it is too hard to decide which kind to eat first!
These are all of my most important rules for when I take over the world, but there are more, many, many, many more!
If you would like to read more about your role in helping me to take over the world or to find out what your place in the world will be, please visit your local library and check out a copy of my book, or download a digital copy today!